She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
