Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
