Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
