.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
