And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
