We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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