so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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