i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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