You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
