dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
