You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
