my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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