dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
