It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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