On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
