3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I have post one night stand depression
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
