Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
