So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
