Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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