Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
