just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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