We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
