whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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