How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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