Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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