p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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