I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
