So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
