After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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