If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
