dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Did I show you my penis last night?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
