I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
