Porn is love you can see.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Randomize
