Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
