i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My vagina just recognized that song.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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