Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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