I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
