im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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