lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
