she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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