If i come over, it means nothing
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
