I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
