And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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