Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
do herpes really smell.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
