I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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