well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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