The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
