So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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