R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
