Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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