ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
