I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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