Dual....:-)
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
