You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
